


Sweet ride baby

by BlushLouise



Series: Small packages [5]
Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Childbirth, Crack, Sunstreaker being Sunstreaker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 05:27:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16298969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlushLouise/pseuds/BlushLouise
Summary: Go with Sunstreaker, they said. It'll be an easy mission, they said. Just a nice, calm, relaxing supply run.Well, now Blaster's stuck in the trunk of the grumpiest Lamborghini in existence, barreling down the highway at speeds he's fairly certain his frame wasn't built to survive, his holoform trying (and failing) to help the woman who's having an actual baby in Sunstreaker's passenger seat.At this point, he's not sure if he wouldn't rather have preferred a run-in with the Decepticons. At least they would be more likely to leave him intact.





	Sweet ride baby

::This is all your fault!::

:: _My_ fa- how is it _my_ fault?::

::You were the one who said I should stop!::

::Yeah, because they needed help! And we help humans who need help.::

:: _I_ don’t! I drive right past the slaggers!::

::Whatever, Sunny. Now shut up, I need to focus.::

::Get her to shut up while you’re at it. I need to concentrate. We’re going way faster than these roads were meant for, you know.::

Blaster pulled his focus back to the woman in front of him, blocking out the angry golden frontliner. He tried for an encouraging smile. “Okay – Kelly, right? Okay, Kelly, just remember to breathe. You’re doing fine.”

The brunette in Sunstreaker’s passenger seat panted and nodded. Her legs were pulled up on the seat, slightly spread, leaving just a little room for Blaster’s holoform to squeeze in between them up against the dashboard. Her husband, a tiny little man about a head shorter than Sparkplug and half his width, was sprawled across Sunstreaker’s center console, pressed against the shoulder of Sunstreaker’s holoform and switching back and forth between looking excited and absolutely terrified.

“That’s it, girl, keep doing that. You’re doing so good. Is this your first baby?”

“No, we have three kids from before,” the husband said – proudly, Blaster thought. “Age eleven, eight and four.”

::If this is their fourth baby, they should have learned to leave for the hospital on time.::

::Mute it, Sunny. They can't help that their car broke down.::

“Oh God, I need to push,” the woman gasped. “Oh God.”

“Good thing you wore a skirt,” the husband joked.

::She is _not_ having a baby in me!::

::MUTE IT, Sunny!::

“Here,” the husband said, pulling his jacket off and shooting Sunstreaker’s holoform an apologetic look. “Sit on my jacket, honey. It’ll protect the upholstery a bit.”

Blaster managed to push the jacket in underneath the lady’s rear. Just in time, too, as she groaned loudly and arched back into the seatback. “Ooooooh Gooood why did I let you do this to me again?”

::Faster, Sunny!::

::Shut up! I’m going as fast as I can with all these cars in the way!::

“Breathe, Kelly. You’re doing fine.” Blaster glanced at the husband, mimicked lifting the skirt away. “Mind if I…?”

The husband looked flustered. “I guess you’re in the best position to see if she’s actually having a baby inside this Lamborghini.”

“ _I_ am the best person to know if I’m actually having a baby inside this Lamborghini,” the woman snarled, her teeth clenched, “and I’m telling you that I am completely and totally about to have a baby inside this Lamborghini!”

::Oh pit no!::

Blaster ignored Sunstreaker’s half-panicked wailing over the comm, and lifted the woman’s light skirt a bit. He managed to suppress a flinch at the sight that met him, but only barely.

Humans were so _weird_.

“I’m not a doctor, but I’d say it definitely does look like you’re having a baby inside his Lamborghini, girl.” He looked at where the baby was supposed to come out. “Do you feel like pushing?”

“Yes,” the woman grunted. “I’m pushing, I’m pushing, I’m pushing…!

“Hah! Yeah, I can see that.” Blaster laughed nervously as the jacket beneath her was soaked with some form of fluid. “I’m gonna… I’m gonna need to tug your underwear out of the way, there.”

On the comm, Sunstreaker was wailing. Thankfully, Blaster could mute that a bit.

It was more difficult to ignore the screeching woman in front of him. Hesitantly, Blaster reached out to tug the once-white cotton away.

“Um. You’re doing good.” Because, really, what else could he say? That it looked like she was splitting down the middle?

“God, they’re really tight together,” she grunted. Her hands were gripping her husband’s so hard that her knuckles were white. Blaster could see her eyes were becoming bloodshot. “Chloe’s and Naomi’s weren’t this intense, not Paige’s either.”

“Well, the doctor did say that the fourth one would come like a bullet from a gun,” her husband joked, seemingly oblivious to the look of pure murder on the holoform next to him. “Guess you just have to shoot it out, huh, honey?”

“One more word out of you and I will kill you,” she panted. “Oh no, here comes another one, oh my GooooOOOOD!”

Blaster winced at the volume and ducked to look beneath her skirt again. “Huh. I think I see the baby." Either that, or the woman was turning inside out somehow. "You’re doing good,” he repeated by rote. “Really good, Kelly. Keep going, your body knows what to do.”

With a strange, slick sound, the tiny head slid free. Along with it came a mess of fluid, and Blaster silently despaired of ever getting another human within touching distance of Sunstreaker.

For that matter, his own chances of surviving the mad mech-hunt that the golden twin would no doubt embark on as soon as the humans were out of his cab were shrinking by the minute as well.

Carefully, Blaster reached out to cradle the small head in his hands. There was nothing wrapped around the baby’s neck, which was important according to _As the kitchen sinks_ , and he tried to support the head while waiting for the final push.

The baby was really warm.

“Okay, the head’s out, Kelly. One last big push now, girl.”

The woman keened, curling up, and suddenly Blaster had a baby in his hands.

::Whoa. Wow. Sunny, this is really intense, are you seeing this?::

::I am driving,:: Sunstreaker snarled. ::And if she’s ruined my seat, I will strangle her.::

::No, you won’t,:: Blaster replied sharply. ::You’ll get us to the hospital, you’ll get us there fast and you will be polite to the humans. Or I’ll need to report your attitude to Prowl.::

The baby seemed to still be connected to its mother through some form of cord, and it was covered in slime and gunk. It was also quiet.

Blaster turned it hurriedly, resting it on its stomach across his palm, and rubbed up its back firmly.

The faint, broken cries brought a relief unlike anything Blaster had ever felt in his entire existence.

Gently, oh so gently, he lifted it free of the mess of fluid and soiled fabric. He didn’t have anything to wrap it in, so he put it directly on its mother’s chest and lifted the skirt to cover it some.

“Congratulations,” he said, grinning. “You just had a baby inside a Lamborghini.”

Her husband lifted the skirt slightly and squealed. “It’s a boy, Kelly! It’s a boy!”

“I did promise you a son at some point,” the woman said with a tired smile. “Hi, Trevor. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

“We’re here,” Sunstreaker said tersely. For all his speed, the turn and stop in front of the hospital doors were easy and gentle. But the door was open before he’d even coasted to a stop, and he was snarling over comms for Blaster to get out and get the filthy humans away from his seats already.

Still, he was behaving.

::You did really good, Sunstreaker.::

He managed to climb out without too much inappropriate touching, and bent back to scoop up both woman and baby. “Come on, sir,” he said brightly. “Let’s get your family taken care of. Sunny, I’ll be right back.”

An orderly came dashing out of the hospital doors, pulling a berth – bed, rather – with him. Blaster put the woman down carefully. “This is Kelly. She just had a baby in my car.”

“I’m the father,” the small husband announced happily.

“Congratulations.” The orderly smiled. “Let’s get you all inside, have the doctor take a look.”

The small man kissed his wife’s forehead. “I’ll be following in a moment, honey. I just want to thank mister Blaster.”

The woman squeezed Blaster’s hand and gave him a bright smile as she was wheeled away.

“Listen, I’m really extremely grateful,” the small man said. “Extremely grateful. And I know you didn’t have to stop, you didn’t have to help, you most especially didn’t have to let my wife give birth to our son inside your flashy high-end Lamborghini. I know the upholstery’s probably ruined.”

Blaster shrugged. “We weren’t not going to help. What happens, happens. No hard feelings on that.”

Well, not on his part, anyway. Sunstreaker was probably _seething_.

“Still, let me make amends.” He pulled out a business card, scrabbled something on the back of it. “My brother owns a car dealership. He’ll be able to help get those stains out. Just give him this and tell him that I sent you.”

Blaster nodded and accepted the card, shaking the man’s hand. “I appreciate it.” He smiled. “Congratulations again. Give your family my best.”

He watched as the man walked inside the hospital, then headed back to the golden Lamborghini waiting for him.

The mess in Sunstreaker’s passenger seat really was nasty. The man had brought his jacket when he left, but the fluids had soaked through it easily, staining everything.

He sighed as he pretended to get in, keeping the pretense up until Sunstreaker closed the door behind him. Then he moved to sit behind the wheel, settling as Sunstreaker’s holoform melted away.

“Sorry about the stains, Sunny. Good news is, I got somewhere that’ll clean you up right. And when your upholstery’s clean, we can get you back to base for a proper primp and polish. Okay?”

He got nothing but grumbling acceptance. But at least it was acceptance. And Blaster figured he’d pushed the golden frontliner far enough for one day.

::What about the package we were supposed to pick up?::

“I told Prowl what we were doing. He sent Cliffjumper and Perceptor instead.” Blaster smiled, letting his hands follow the motions of the steering wheel. “He also said you did good. We’ve both earned ourselves some time off.”

::And you’ll help me get cleaned up?::

“Least I can do. I’ll watch the humans like a hawk, I promise. Won’t let them leave a scratch on you.” He patted the dashboard. “Now let’s go get you clean.”

::Thanks, Blaster.::

“Heh. Likewise, mech. Likewise.”


End file.
